Quick Slants - Week 8: The BIG Game, Part 2

Now that that's out of the way...(and you can scroll down to Part 1 to see what's out of the way).

I owe Death Spiral Dick Jauron-stedt an apology...but only if his Bills finish what they've started this season.

If this team collapses after showing some surprising heart through the first part of the schedule, put it all on that doofus's shoulders. After all, they are the ones raising expectations and pulses all over upstate New York by winning games they shouldn't win. Just don't be surprised when they go right back to losing games they shouldn't lose.

The playoffs have started for the Chicago Bears. They already have five losses, and they are looking up at two teams in their division. The Cowboys will win the NFC East, and the Giants will get one wild card slot. The Buccaneers will likely win the South, and only God knows who will win the West, but only the division winners from those two divisions will get in. That leaves the North, and the Bears are already behind both Green Bay and Detroit. One of those two wins the division, which leaves one wild card slot. And, right now, either Green Bay or Detroit are that much better than Chicago (or anyone else in the NFC South or West, to be honest).

Therefore, the Bears will have to run the table and hope that either Green Bay or Detroit comes back to them. (Cue Quint: farewell and adieu...to you fair Spanish ladies...)

Meanwhile, if the Lions are going to get the kind of run production that they got on Sunday, they are going to be verrrrry hard to beat any time soon...wow...

I hate Philadelphia. I just hate them. One week, they look as listless as a heroin addict on the nod; the next, they show just enough real life to make someone wonder where this has been all season.

Say what you want, but inconsistency is the hallmark of a lack of concentration.

For all the talk about an undefeated team, we could have two utterly defeated teams by the end of the season.

The Dolphins are just plain bad. I ain't sayin' that Zach Thomas faked a car accident to avoid going all the way to London to take a butt-beating...but that is a loooong way to travel just to keep that goose egg pristine.

But as bad as the Dolphins are, the St. Louis Lambs are much, much worse.

They had visiting Cleveland down 14-0...and promptly got outscored 27-6 the rest of the way.

As much as Cleveland gets some credit for keeping it together, trusting each other, and coming back, what does it say about the Rams?

In fact, I'd suggest that Cleveland kept it together and didn't panic precisely because it was the Rams and not, say, the Patriots.

See, when the Patriots go up 14-0 in the first, you're likely looking at the wrong end of a 52-point day. When St. Louis goes up 14-0 in the first, you're likely looking at a team that might not score again until December.

Speaking of not scoring again...ever...I offer the New York Jets. Boy, the wheels have completely fallen off this particular bus, haven't they?

Apparently, someone must not have told the Mangenius that looking at last year's film is just as valuable as looking at film from halftime. They are surprising NO ONE. Neither of their QBs is possessed of a strong arm; if the 10-yard out is the benchmark of arm strength, both of these guys would be out indefinitely after throwing a pass for more than 10 yards.

That's how difficult it is to get into the 0-16 club. A team as abysmal as the Jets has a win. That should impress anyone as to the paucity of "talent" collected by Miami and St. Louis, two teams so bad that the best players from both rosters would still be in last place in the NFC West...

Here' a head-scratcher. Your starting QB throws for 100 yards. On purpose. Your starting tailback "rushed" for 68 yards. By yardage, your best receiver had one catch for 30 yards. By receptions, your best receiver was your backup tailback, who had two for 14 yards.

Everything about the above is true.

And the team in question won the game.

The saddest part is that the Jacksonville Jaguars came from behind to win against Tampa Bay with those kinds of numbers, as numbing as they are.

Really, how bad is the NFC when the Jaguars puke on their jerseys and still win?

It sez so right here that even the benighted Raiders would win either the NFC South or the NFC West right now.

And finally, no, I will not refrain from calling Norv The Idiot Turner an idiot, even after the Chargers roasted the Texans in fiery Qualcomm.

I checked the stat line. That guy who scored all those touchdowns last year, some Tomlinson kid? He only touched the football 18 times total last weekend.

That ain't NEARLY enough.

The fact that Houston is working through QB problems right now is no excuse for incompetence. I guarantee you, The Belicheat makes sure that Laurence Maroney touches the ball more than 20 times no matter who's playing, because Maroney is really good. He ain't LT good (who is?), but he's mail-carrying, clock-eating, yards-getting good on an undefeated team. The Chargers, on the other hand, have a LOT more to prove than the Patriots, and Norv The Idiot Turner doesn't have time to get all cute with the ball distribution if he wants to win anything beyond "Stupidest Coach, AFC" this season.

Don't let the smooth taste fool you; the Chargers are a mirage and will get blowed up real good if they play someone good (read: Indianapolis).

...and I'm out like...ah, hell, who am I kidding? BRING ON THE GAME!!!