Quick Slants - Week 13
So, there I am, minding my own business, checking into my Yahoo! account, when I read the following tag-line: “Patriots’ perfect season should’ve ended.”
Clicking on the button brought up the following headers: “Patriots’ great escape,” and “The Ravens had the Patriots beat before they collapsed and Tom Brady took charge.”
To all of which I say:
The good people at Yahoo! couldn’t be more wrong.
The Patriots’ perfect season should NOT have ended. The Patriots did NOT escape. And the Ravens did NOT have the Patriots beat, et cetera et cetera...
No one gets credit for winning 59 minutes of a 60 minute game, or the Bears would have a victory this week (and one against the Chargers, truth be told)...as would anyone else who has ever led a game through 59 minutes and lost.
Last I checked, the winning team had the most points after 60 minutes...or overtime.
The Patriots, for the twelfth time this season, were that team, despite everything a game Ravens squad did to change the outcome.
The simple fact is that the Ravens did not do enough to win, and the Patriots did.
This is what we are reduced to: we no longer marvel at New England’s victories, nor at the fact that they are producing when it counts most, but that they are no longer blowing opponents off the field.
That is greatness.
Meanwhile...
Some things you guess. Some things you think. And some things you just know.
The Lions will finish with a record below .500 yet again during the Matt Millen era, and this after starting 6-2 through their first 8 games.
They have dropped 4, count ‘em, 4 games in a row and that whooshing sound they’re hearing is the sound of a team that has reached terminal velocity...and the bottom can’t get here soon enough.
They just lost stud receiver Roy Williams for what looks like the rest of the season, and if I’m Roy, I am in no itchin’ hurry to get back to the ass-whuppins remaining on their schedule (Dallas, at San Diego, Kansas City, at Green Bay).
The Bears are now officially playing for next season, having snatched defeat from the jaws of victory at home against the bloody awful Giants.
And all they have to do is: find a quarterback, find a running back, shore up an ancient and creaky O-line, and stiffen up a defense that looks like it needs the little blue pill worse than Citizen Ron Dole did back in the day.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers keep finding ways to win, this despite what appears to be a black hole at quarterback.
Explanation for San Diego’s recent victory: Norv “Al Gore” Turner gave LT the ball 23 times. LT responded with an absurd 177 rushing yards and 2 TDs.
There is no truth to the rumor that Turner was seen asking GM A.J. Smith the following question: “That kid’s been on the roster all year, or did you sign him from the practice squad? We gotta get him some touches or something.”
There may be some truth to the rumor that Viking veterans wish Adrian Peterson wasn’t such a quick healer, as his continued jaunts into enemy territory further secure Boo Boo The Fool Childress’ job status for the immediate future.
Still, we did have a Tavaris Jackson sighting last Sunday...but before we go getting all excited and stuff, remember that said sighting came against the Lions.
This is kinda like the idiot brother-in-law you hate showing you video of Bigfoot that he caught last week...sure, it might be true, but, well, consider the friggin’ source...
Maybe it’s just me, but no one is talking about how the Colts escaped with a victory against the Jaguars, even though the game was just as hotly contested as was New England/Baltimore...
But then again, apparently, there’s something wrong with the team that won last season’s championship...never mind that they’ve only lost twice this season (once to New England, and once through your Deity/Higher Power Of Choice’s direct intervention against San Diego).
Still, what kind of “knee bruise” keeps Marvin Harrison out for seven games so far...and likely until the playoffs, if then?
This just in – FIRE MIKE SHANAHAN.
Last week, it was Devin Hester. This week, it was Justin Fargas. The Broncos have tackled neither to date...
Overheard after last week’s debacle in Oakland: “Scouting report? Vat is zis “scouting report” you speak of? Ve need no such “scouting reports” to play ze foosball in Denver! Ve play! Like ze beautiful muzik, we play! And ve giff to our players ze Lie Detector because ve knows dey are all truth-telling, high-moral-fiber persons who don’t drive drunk, smoke ze dope, or beat up ze ordinary palookas at ze house parties!”
Attention: Bill Cowher, please pick up the white courtesy phone...it’ll be Pat Bowlen, asking if you and your family like skiing and something about complimentary season lift tickets...
Gotta love Vince Young. The guy’s been killing me all year and picks this week to wake up...geez...
I’d make a snide remark about Atlanta/St. Louis, except, well...they could get into a West Side Story Jets versus Sharks knife fight and it still wouldn’t draw more than flies.
Finally, you’re the Miami Dolphins.
You are at home.
You are facing the one team on your schedule that you could conceivably beat.
You don’t want to be the first team in NFL history to go 0-16, especially with the fact that your franchise is the only one in NFL history to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl.
No one needs that kind of ironic notoriety.
So what kind of effort do you sum up against the benighted New York Jets, with the weight of history on your side?
You respond by taking your first lead in the game at 13-10...and then promptly giving up 30 unanswered points.
Way to answer the bell. Punks.
...and I’m OUT like Derrick Ward...
Clicking on the button brought up the following headers: “Patriots’ great escape,” and “The Ravens had the Patriots beat before they collapsed and Tom Brady took charge.”
To all of which I say:
The good people at Yahoo! couldn’t be more wrong.
The Patriots’ perfect season should NOT have ended. The Patriots did NOT escape. And the Ravens did NOT have the Patriots beat, et cetera et cetera...
No one gets credit for winning 59 minutes of a 60 minute game, or the Bears would have a victory this week (and one against the Chargers, truth be told)...as would anyone else who has ever led a game through 59 minutes and lost.
Last I checked, the winning team had the most points after 60 minutes...or overtime.
The Patriots, for the twelfth time this season, were that team, despite everything a game Ravens squad did to change the outcome.
The simple fact is that the Ravens did not do enough to win, and the Patriots did.
This is what we are reduced to: we no longer marvel at New England’s victories, nor at the fact that they are producing when it counts most, but that they are no longer blowing opponents off the field.
That is greatness.
Meanwhile...
Some things you guess. Some things you think. And some things you just know.
The Lions will finish with a record below .500 yet again during the Matt Millen era, and this after starting 6-2 through their first 8 games.
They have dropped 4, count ‘em, 4 games in a row and that whooshing sound they’re hearing is the sound of a team that has reached terminal velocity...and the bottom can’t get here soon enough.
They just lost stud receiver Roy Williams for what looks like the rest of the season, and if I’m Roy, I am in no itchin’ hurry to get back to the ass-whuppins remaining on their schedule (Dallas, at San Diego, Kansas City, at Green Bay).
The Bears are now officially playing for next season, having snatched defeat from the jaws of victory at home against the bloody awful Giants.
And all they have to do is: find a quarterback, find a running back, shore up an ancient and creaky O-line, and stiffen up a defense that looks like it needs the little blue pill worse than Citizen Ron Dole did back in the day.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers keep finding ways to win, this despite what appears to be a black hole at quarterback.
Explanation for San Diego’s recent victory: Norv “Al Gore” Turner gave LT the ball 23 times. LT responded with an absurd 177 rushing yards and 2 TDs.
There is no truth to the rumor that Turner was seen asking GM A.J. Smith the following question: “That kid’s been on the roster all year, or did you sign him from the practice squad? We gotta get him some touches or something.”
There may be some truth to the rumor that Viking veterans wish Adrian Peterson wasn’t such a quick healer, as his continued jaunts into enemy territory further secure Boo Boo The Fool Childress’ job status for the immediate future.
Still, we did have a Tavaris Jackson sighting last Sunday...but before we go getting all excited and stuff, remember that said sighting came against the Lions.
This is kinda like the idiot brother-in-law you hate showing you video of Bigfoot that he caught last week...sure, it might be true, but, well, consider the friggin’ source...
Maybe it’s just me, but no one is talking about how the Colts escaped with a victory against the Jaguars, even though the game was just as hotly contested as was New England/Baltimore...
But then again, apparently, there’s something wrong with the team that won last season’s championship...never mind that they’ve only lost twice this season (once to New England, and once through your Deity/Higher Power Of Choice’s direct intervention against San Diego).
Still, what kind of “knee bruise” keeps Marvin Harrison out for seven games so far...and likely until the playoffs, if then?
This just in – FIRE MIKE SHANAHAN.
Last week, it was Devin Hester. This week, it was Justin Fargas. The Broncos have tackled neither to date...
Overheard after last week’s debacle in Oakland: “Scouting report? Vat is zis “scouting report” you speak of? Ve need no such “scouting reports” to play ze foosball in Denver! Ve play! Like ze beautiful muzik, we play! And ve giff to our players ze Lie Detector because ve knows dey are all truth-telling, high-moral-fiber persons who don’t drive drunk, smoke ze dope, or beat up ze ordinary palookas at ze house parties!”
Attention: Bill Cowher, please pick up the white courtesy phone...it’ll be Pat Bowlen, asking if you and your family like skiing and something about complimentary season lift tickets...
Gotta love Vince Young. The guy’s been killing me all year and picks this week to wake up...geez...
I’d make a snide remark about Atlanta/St. Louis, except, well...they could get into a West Side Story Jets versus Sharks knife fight and it still wouldn’t draw more than flies.
Finally, you’re the Miami Dolphins.
You are at home.
You are facing the one team on your schedule that you could conceivably beat.
You don’t want to be the first team in NFL history to go 0-16, especially with the fact that your franchise is the only one in NFL history to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl.
No one needs that kind of ironic notoriety.
So what kind of effort do you sum up against the benighted New York Jets, with the weight of history on your side?
You respond by taking your first lead in the game at 13-10...and then promptly giving up 30 unanswered points.
Way to answer the bell. Punks.
...and I’m OUT like Derrick Ward...
Labels: NFL
posted by van walker | 8:28 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home