Quick Slants - Week 17
So, uh, who likes the Patriots to win the Super Bowl now? Sheesh.
Teams that I’m officially pissed at: Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, Dallas, and Indianapolis.
Just so we’re clear on this: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MEANINGLESS REGULAR SEASON GAME.
I get so sick and tired of hearing about coaches “resting/protecting” starters because they have “nothing to play for,” since their playoff position can’t change with a win or a loss.
First off, it’s still a game that counts in the regular season standings. Second off, the ticket and broadcast price of the game isn’t discounted because the regulars aren’t in. Third, and this is my favorite one, injury can’t be a factor.
As to the third point, I know someone will say: but what about the guy who gets blown up in the very last game and is lost for the playoffs? Isn’t that coach stupid for playing him?
To which I’d answer: no stupider than the coach who loses a starter in the 3rd week for the rest of the season, or who loses a starter in the 13th week. You can’t plan for injuries. You can’t predict them. They do not schedule themselves regularly. Therefore, you can’t be afraid of them.
This is why the Patriots will beat whoever is in front of them in the playoffs this season: they have been mentally conditioned to give maximum effort not just in every game, not just in every quarter, not just on every series, but on every snap. They don’t take as much as a down off. As far as they are concerned, they can rest after they’ve taken a champagne bath with the Lombardi Trophy.
In particular, I think that the Cowboys and the Colts will regret resting/protecting their starters and letting divisional rivals into the playoffs. Should the ‘Boys have to face the Redskins, or the Colts have to play the Titans, division familiarity could turn what should have been a blowout into a grind…and a potential upset.
Note to Minnesota: this is why you need a real quarterback. “Tarvaris Jackson” is Ebonics for “Kyle Orton.”
Note to Mike Shanahan: this is why you need to be fired. You had Minnesota gutted like a salmon for just shy of 55 minutes…only to need overtime to save the game.
Note to Arizona: this is why big bonuses are a bad idea. If you’d started Kurt Warner all season, you’d be in the playoffs right now. I don’t care what Matt Leinart got paid, Warner gives you the best shot to win every week, and everyone in pads knows it.
Note to the Lions: this is why you need to fire Matt Millen – the team is now exactly 50 games below .500 for his tenure as General (Mis)Manager. Worse, if you only subtracted the total number of Millen Tenure losses (81) from the Franchise History total, and added none of the wins, this team is still 488-472, 16 games OVER .500…The current 7-season stretch of futility ranks as the worst in franchise history (by some 16 games), even worse than the previous 7-year run from 1984-1990, and the end does not appear to be in sight. Since 1957, the last time the Lions were NFL champions, the franchise has enjoyed 16 winning seasons – and Millen has contributed ZERO to that total.
What with all the federal indictments going on in sports, I’m really surprised that Millen’s name hasn’t come up yet…because that guy is flat-out stealing from the Fords.
Note to John Fox: this is why you should get fired. What’s the name of that kid who ran so well in the last game of the season, and why hasn’t he been the featured back all season?
Note to Randy Mueller: this is why you deserved to get fired – Wes Welker in a Patriots uniform. I understand trading a guy, but really…
Note to Brian Billick: this is why you deserved to get fired – you lost to the worst team in decades. Decades. The god-awful Lions would biatch-slap the Dolphins around, and your team lost to them.
(By the way, for those who might have that my earlier rant did not mention Seattle as one of the teams that I’m pissed at, I can assure you that the omission was deliberate. Last I checked, Matt Hasselbeck doesn’t play defense, and this is a defense that gave up 44 points in regulation to the benighted Falcons. 44 points. The Falcons. In regulation, no less. You wanna know why no one respects you, Seabass? 44 points. The Falcons. In regulation. AT YOUR HOUSE. Gaaaaah…)
Note to Cleveland: don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It. Sign Derek Anderson to whatever he wants, then open up the competition for the starter’s job next summer during camp. Whoever wins, your team benefits. On one hand, if Derek Anderson wins, great; he’s a known commodity who has performed really nicely in Romeo Crennel’s system this season, and Quinn gets another season to learn the whole playbook…but this time, from mini-camp forward. On the other hand, if Brady Quinn wins, even better; if he can beat out Derek Anderson, not only does he deserve to start, he will deserve every penny of that monster contract he signed…AND you still have Derek Anderson in case Quinn gets broken.
However, something tells me that the wisdom of bean counters will counter the wisdom beneath helmets and headsets, and that Derek Anderson’s next contract will come from a franchise not located in Cleveland (or Ohio, for that matter), and that Brady Quinn will be given a starter’s job that he still hasn’t earned…and that Anderson will be just fine wherever he ends up…and that Quinn will be the guy who gets everyone fired in Cleveland.
Note to Jerry Angelo: your tenure as GM of the Bears has been spotty, fella, real spotty. For every Nathan Vasher or Devin Hester you’ve drafted, you’ve also drafted a Cedric Benson here, a Rex Grossman there…for every Adewale Ogunleye you’ve brought in as a free agent, you’ve also lost a Bobby Engram here, a Roosevelt Colvin there, and are about to lose Lance Briggs. Do me a favor: forget about the defense this off-season. They will be fine, if you do two things: shore up the offensive line, and break open Virginia McCaskey’s piggy bank and pay the Browns whatever they will ask for Derek Anderson. A big, burly O-line will help professionals like The Other Adrian Peterson and Garrett Wolfe gain yards, and Anderson will suddenly remind Bear fans why those other guys line up waaaay outside the formation. When the offense is chewing up 5 and 7 and 8 minute chunks of the game at a time, the defense will become a lot fresher.
…and I’m OUT like The Browns…dang…
Teams that I’m officially pissed at: Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, Dallas, and Indianapolis.
Just so we’re clear on this: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MEANINGLESS REGULAR SEASON GAME.
I get so sick and tired of hearing about coaches “resting/protecting” starters because they have “nothing to play for,” since their playoff position can’t change with a win or a loss.
First off, it’s still a game that counts in the regular season standings. Second off, the ticket and broadcast price of the game isn’t discounted because the regulars aren’t in. Third, and this is my favorite one, injury can’t be a factor.
As to the third point, I know someone will say: but what about the guy who gets blown up in the very last game and is lost for the playoffs? Isn’t that coach stupid for playing him?
To which I’d answer: no stupider than the coach who loses a starter in the 3rd week for the rest of the season, or who loses a starter in the 13th week. You can’t plan for injuries. You can’t predict them. They do not schedule themselves regularly. Therefore, you can’t be afraid of them.
This is why the Patriots will beat whoever is in front of them in the playoffs this season: they have been mentally conditioned to give maximum effort not just in every game, not just in every quarter, not just on every series, but on every snap. They don’t take as much as a down off. As far as they are concerned, they can rest after they’ve taken a champagne bath with the Lombardi Trophy.
In particular, I think that the Cowboys and the Colts will regret resting/protecting their starters and letting divisional rivals into the playoffs. Should the ‘Boys have to face the Redskins, or the Colts have to play the Titans, division familiarity could turn what should have been a blowout into a grind…and a potential upset.
Note to Minnesota: this is why you need a real quarterback. “Tarvaris Jackson” is Ebonics for “Kyle Orton.”
Note to Mike Shanahan: this is why you need to be fired. You had Minnesota gutted like a salmon for just shy of 55 minutes…only to need overtime to save the game.
Note to Arizona: this is why big bonuses are a bad idea. If you’d started Kurt Warner all season, you’d be in the playoffs right now. I don’t care what Matt Leinart got paid, Warner gives you the best shot to win every week, and everyone in pads knows it.
Note to the Lions: this is why you need to fire Matt Millen – the team is now exactly 50 games below .500 for his tenure as General (Mis)Manager. Worse, if you only subtracted the total number of Millen Tenure losses (81) from the Franchise History total, and added none of the wins, this team is still 488-472, 16 games OVER .500…The current 7-season stretch of futility ranks as the worst in franchise history (by some 16 games), even worse than the previous 7-year run from 1984-1990, and the end does not appear to be in sight. Since 1957, the last time the Lions were NFL champions, the franchise has enjoyed 16 winning seasons – and Millen has contributed ZERO to that total.
What with all the federal indictments going on in sports, I’m really surprised that Millen’s name hasn’t come up yet…because that guy is flat-out stealing from the Fords.
Note to John Fox: this is why you should get fired. What’s the name of that kid who ran so well in the last game of the season, and why hasn’t he been the featured back all season?
Note to Randy Mueller: this is why you deserved to get fired – Wes Welker in a Patriots uniform. I understand trading a guy, but really…
Note to Brian Billick: this is why you deserved to get fired – you lost to the worst team in decades. Decades. The god-awful Lions would biatch-slap the Dolphins around, and your team lost to them.
(By the way, for those who might have that my earlier rant did not mention Seattle as one of the teams that I’m pissed at, I can assure you that the omission was deliberate. Last I checked, Matt Hasselbeck doesn’t play defense, and this is a defense that gave up 44 points in regulation to the benighted Falcons. 44 points. The Falcons. In regulation, no less. You wanna know why no one respects you, Seabass? 44 points. The Falcons. In regulation. AT YOUR HOUSE. Gaaaaah…)
Note to Cleveland: don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It. Sign Derek Anderson to whatever he wants, then open up the competition for the starter’s job next summer during camp. Whoever wins, your team benefits. On one hand, if Derek Anderson wins, great; he’s a known commodity who has performed really nicely in Romeo Crennel’s system this season, and Quinn gets another season to learn the whole playbook…but this time, from mini-camp forward. On the other hand, if Brady Quinn wins, even better; if he can beat out Derek Anderson, not only does he deserve to start, he will deserve every penny of that monster contract he signed…AND you still have Derek Anderson in case Quinn gets broken.
However, something tells me that the wisdom of bean counters will counter the wisdom beneath helmets and headsets, and that Derek Anderson’s next contract will come from a franchise not located in Cleveland (or Ohio, for that matter), and that Brady Quinn will be given a starter’s job that he still hasn’t earned…and that Anderson will be just fine wherever he ends up…and that Quinn will be the guy who gets everyone fired in Cleveland.
Note to Jerry Angelo: your tenure as GM of the Bears has been spotty, fella, real spotty. For every Nathan Vasher or Devin Hester you’ve drafted, you’ve also drafted a Cedric Benson here, a Rex Grossman there…for every Adewale Ogunleye you’ve brought in as a free agent, you’ve also lost a Bobby Engram here, a Roosevelt Colvin there, and are about to lose Lance Briggs. Do me a favor: forget about the defense this off-season. They will be fine, if you do two things: shore up the offensive line, and break open Virginia McCaskey’s piggy bank and pay the Browns whatever they will ask for Derek Anderson. A big, burly O-line will help professionals like The Other Adrian Peterson and Garrett Wolfe gain yards, and Anderson will suddenly remind Bear fans why those other guys line up waaaay outside the formation. When the offense is chewing up 5 and 7 and 8 minute chunks of the game at a time, the defense will become a lot fresher.
…and I’m OUT like The Browns…dang…
Labels: NFL
posted by van walker | 11:19 PM
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