Week 4 Prognostications...The Bruise Gets Larger
Van: If you have borne with me through the first three weeks of Bill's picks, well, Week 4 needs no introduction...egad...
The definition of dire straits is needing New Orleans to win on Monday night in order to beat Van that week. Wow, does New Orleans suck. Bleah.
Van: Actually, the definition of Dire Straits is Mark Knopfler and a lot of triple-scale union musicians…
Meanwhile, back in Van’s yurt, there’s a party goin’ on. Van and his hot wife are pounding jug after jug of cabbage brandy in celebration of Rex Grossman’s overdue demotion. Careful there, cowboy. It’s even worse on its way back up.
Please check out my website here to read Van’s hallucinations about the coming week.
Van: Last I checked, I’m hallucinating five games better than you at this point…but I digress…
Since I have some catching up to do in this little competition, I feel I must squash Van this week. And so I shall. Maestro?
Houston at Atlanta
Bill’s Pick: Houston
For Michael Vick, life is the unholy union of Morrissey and Ice Cube - Every Day is Like Friday. He ain’t got no job, heaven knows he’s miserable now, and he’s gonna get high today. And high would be a huge step up for the tragically overcaffeinated DeAngelo Hall, who will miss the first half (?!) of this game after single-handedly losing last week’s game. Is it just me, or was Bobby Petrino frightened when Hall accosted him on the sideline last week? If you show up like a little bitch in front of your team, do they keep listening to you? Erm, hey Van, can I use the word “bitch” on our blog? Like, if I have a good reason? Man, I hope so, because I am going to need it for Brian Griese here in a minute. Anyway, Atlanta is a mess and will continue to lose games to better teams until we find a team that isn’t.
Van: (too busy laughing to post a comment) Hey, last I read, the Pope declared that all Protestant blogs aren’t real blogs…it’s what I heard, anyway, so write what you want, dude…
The Jets at Buffalo
Bill’s Pick: The Jets
I have a question. Who on their deeply questionable roster are the Bills paying so much that they are only carrying two quarterbacks? If your starting quarterback is J. P. Losman (no need to commit hara-kiri here, this is only hypothetical, unless you are a Bills fan, in which case go ahead), why do you not see the need for a more thorough contingency plan than rookie Trent Edwards? As long as Losman is shuffling around, wondering what routes his receivers are running, overthrowing guys over the middle and bouncing passes to his checkdown guys, the Bills will continue to lose…but God forbid he gets hurt.
Van: The scary thing is that we know nothing about Trent Edwards, other than his poll-attractive name if he were a candidate. Who knows? This guy might be Dan Marino…or Rex Grossman…such is the crapshoot that is drafting a quarterback.
Baltimore at Cleveland
Bill’s Pick: Baltimore
Ohio is the panacea, the snake oil of the NFL. If you want to regrow hair, fix your blocking scheme, or heal a pulled groin, just go play the Browns or the Bengals. Steve McNair gets to be 26 again, Willis McGahee gets to play at the U one more time, but since the Ravens, with very few exceptions, are not the Bengals, the Browns get no such benefit.
Van: All Derek Anderson did was give Brady Quinn one more week of prep before the Bye…
St. Louis at Dallas
Bill’s Pick: Dallas
Tony Romo is a Jedi. I have no idea what that means, exactly, but my boy Dog says so, and so it must be true. Romo could be an Ewok and the ‘Boys would roll unchecked over the hapless Rams. See, the Rams used to be terrible, but then they lost Steven Jackson. Now they are something worse than terrible and traveling to play what is probably the NFL’s second-best team right now. Dallas is favored by 13, which theoretically means that half of the betting public would take the Rams and the points. I do not know precisely what this means for the next presidential election, but I am moving to New Zealand.
Van: If Tony Romo is a Jedi, then he’s Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan single-handedly beat the butts of Darth Maul, General Grievous, and Darth Vader (pre-suit!!)…in fact, in the last one, Obi-Wan is the whole reason Vader even needs the suit. For all that talk about the Skywalker family, Obi-Wan was the baddest of the Jedi.
Chicago at Detroit
Bill’s Pick: Chicago
Now that the Rex Grossman era is over, Bear fans should prepare themselves for their next great Inconvenient Truth: Brian Griese is not very good, either. He will look good for the next four weeks, and then you will find out why he has been cut by three different NFL teams, and why nobody has signed him to compete for a starting job since he got run out of Denver in favor of, seriously, Jake Plummer. Griese is a smart guy, but he has no arm and no balls. OK, I didn’t use “bitch,” but I did use “balls.” Remind me we need to set ground rules for these things, because I may want to use these words again sometime. Right now, da Bears are the team Searching for Trent Dilfer, and they think they have found him, but all they have really managed to do is upgrade from Grossman. Well, that’s something, anyway. This week, the upgrade is enough against a Detroit defense that could not keep Britney Spears out of Princeton.
Van: While I’d agree about Brit-Brit and Princeton, that wounded Bears defense isn’t going to do more than frisk Mo-Town receivers on their way to the end zone…my beloved Bears are awful.
Oakland at Miami
Bill’s Pick: Miami
Miami is at home. Last week I invented some rationale for choosing KC over Minnesota because it did not seem like enough to say that KC would win the battle of the offensive fleas because they were at home. See, everything would have been fine and I would have done it again for this game, but Van had to go and call me out last time, so there’s your analysis. Miami is at home.
Van: Uh, I said the same thing…dang it…
Green Bay at Minnesota
Bill’s Pick: Green Bay
I have a bad feeling about this game, and I wanted to pick the Vikings, but they match up so incredibly poorly against the Packers that I cannot justify it. The Vikings have an incredible run defense – no problem. The Packers cannot run the ball and are not inclined to even try. The Packers have an elite defense. The Vikings have…Adrian Peterson. The Packers could put ten guys in the box and Travairious Jackson would never unravel it. I feel like Minnesota can win this game, but I cannot figure out how.
Van: Minnesota only wins this game if they are playing in one of those Legends Leagues, where the old Purple People Eaters are on defense and Ahmad Rashad hadn’t resigned himself to burying his nose in Michael Jordan’s buttcrack.
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Bill’s Pick: Carolina
Picking this game is like choosing whether or not to accept a free vacation without knowing the destination or your fellow travelers. Maybe you are going to Vermont with your wife to see the fall colors. That’s nice. That’s Jake Delhomme. But maybe you are going to Amarillo with your in-laws for a tour of fast food restaurants. That’s David Carr. Now, I think it is pretty unlikely that Carr starts this game, but I am tempted to turn down the free vacation on the grounds that there is a chance. Both the Bucs and Panthers seem to be growing into their teams as the season goes on, and this is clearly round one of a two round bout to decide the NFC South (for those of us who have come to the painful recognition after three weeks that New Orleans would be hard-pressed to win a game, much less this division). Assuming Delhomme plays, the Panthers win, well, because they are at home.
Van: Tampa Bay’s best receiver is still Joey Galloway. Joey Friggin’ Galloway. Hell, I thought the guy was in WitSec for testifying against Rae Carruth…
Seattle at San Francisco
Bill’s Pick: San Francisco
These are both cities with great culture, wonderful seafood and peculiar weather. They both have superior independent record stores and storied local music scenes. Real estate is absurdly expensive in both places. You have to give the nod to San Francisco for being the superior walking city. And I do not like the Seahawks.
Van: This is why you lose to me every week. Not liking the Seahawks should have nothing to do with picking them when they are the better team. And they are the better team. You might want to note any sideline cameras on Mike Holmgren when he laughs at Darrell Jackson riverdancing through a route.
Pittsburgh at Arizona
Bill’s Pick: Arizona
Far from the friendly rust belt, three time zones away in the oppressive September heat, the Steelers walk in where everybody knows their names. All their names. And tendencies. Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm, purported in-house frontrunners for the Pittsburgh head job that went to Mike Tomlin, now prowl the sidelines for the Cardinals. The Cards have the knowledge and they have the heart. After storming back against the Ravens last week, Arizona gets it, and you can bet that Matt Leinart is on a shorter leash this week after Kurt Warner’s performance last week. Whisenhunt and Grimm can downplay this all they want, but you can bet they have been game-planning the Steelers since June.
Van: They can gameplan like The Belicheat, complete with the Wachowski Brothers filming in I-Max, and it won’t matter at all. They can gameplan like Wile E. Coyote and they still get run over by the train. God’s favorite QB might be Jon Kitna, but it sez so in Leviticus that He hates the Cardinals.
Denver at Indianapolis
Bill’s Pick: Indianapolis
This should be interesting. Nobody has even tried to throw on the Broncos this season. The Bills, Raiders and Jags totaled 58 pass attempts in three games. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that changes this week. Last year, after nibbling for a half, the Colts blew up at Invesco field, exposing a Bronco defense that had been the league’s stingiest. After brutal first-round playoff beatings in 2003 and 2004, the Donkeys re-tooled their entire defense just for the Colts. A perusal of the Broncos’ injury report turns up about half of their secondary. Champ Bailey is healthy, but as the Colts proved last year, it is not that hard to throw to the other side of the field.
Van: Mark it on your calendar – both Bill and I have picked against our teams. Then again, one of us is down five games to the other, and the other is trying to grow that lead. Loyalties fall by the wayside when victory is at stake.
Kansas City at San Diego
Bill’s Pick: San Diego
After a brutal early season tour of the NFL’s best teams, San Diego’s bye week comes early. Green Bay, New England and Chicago have provided three entirely separate blueprints for beating the Bolts (disregarding for the moment that the Bears gacked it up in the final twelve minutes), but the Chefs do not have the personnel to avail themselves of any of these plans. Good thing, too, because if KC had any plan at all and the wherewithal to execute it, Norv Turner would never adjust. A couple of weeks ago, one of the networks showed a bunch of pictures of Norv and his little brother (Chicago offensive coordinator Ron) growing up. Bears and Chargers fans should all be concerned (this means you, Van) because in all of the pictures, from birth to freshman basketball to weddings, they both look completely vacant. It’s weird. I guess I have to say about this game what a lot of people (this means you, Van) said about this season: even Norv can’t screw this up.
Van: What, me worry? I’ve got a QB in Chicago that’s one beer from a relapse and a running back in Chicago that makes me yearn for those halcyon days with Curtis Enis in the backfield…and while San Diego can indeed screw it up, KC can screw it up a lot worse.
Philadelphia at the Giants
Bill’s Pick: Philadelphia
Apparently, I was a week ahead of the curve complaining about throwback uniforms. See, Van, you clowned me and now I am vindicated. Now sports. Even after they finally showed up for a game, I cannot rid my head of the vision of the G-men uniting to quit against the Packers. I thought Donovan and the Iggles were better than they were showing, that they had a competent offense camouflaged by their inability to break 20 points. So on the one hand, they hung 56 points in week three, and on the other it was against the Lions. Without knowing which of the four teams playing this game might show up, you have to return to square one, which is simply that Philly has the superior team. If they both play to their highest capabilities, the Eagles win this by two touchdowns.
Van: Given a choice here, I’d almost rather hit my thumb with a hammer. Twice. And make that a sledgehammer. And let John Henry his own self swing it. If you are the demented sort that reads both Bill’s picks and mine, you’ll note that my metaphor for this game was haggis versus lutefisk. John Henry, swing away…
New England at Cincinnati
Bill’s Pick: New England
I think that Cincinnati can score on New England’s defense and that Carson Palmer can continue to put up absurd numbers, but I also think it will be completely out of necessity. The Bengals defense is just a suggestion. If the Ravens’ defense is a law, the Bengals’ D is a helpful hint. Palmer and Johnson and Houshmanzadeh will get their numbers, but it will be because they are constantly 21 points down.
Van: The Bungle’s defense isn’t even a suggestion as much as it’s a lewd comment to a minor. A first class berth aboard a cruise ship might mistreat guests more than Cincinnati’s defense, but not by much. The Natty’s defense is softer than Cedric Benson, and HE’S softer than the judges on America’s Next Top Model. I mean, this is the joke that keeps on giving, kinda like Kofi Annan’s Scams For (His) Kids…okay, I’m done. So’s Bill, by the way…heh heh heh…
The definition of dire straits is needing New Orleans to win on Monday night in order to beat Van that week. Wow, does New Orleans suck. Bleah.
Van: Actually, the definition of Dire Straits is Mark Knopfler and a lot of triple-scale union musicians…
Meanwhile, back in Van’s yurt, there’s a party goin’ on. Van and his hot wife are pounding jug after jug of cabbage brandy in celebration of Rex Grossman’s overdue demotion. Careful there, cowboy. It’s even worse on its way back up.
Please check out my website here to read Van’s hallucinations about the coming week.
Van: Last I checked, I’m hallucinating five games better than you at this point…but I digress…
Since I have some catching up to do in this little competition, I feel I must squash Van this week. And so I shall. Maestro?
Houston at Atlanta
Bill’s Pick: Houston
For Michael Vick, life is the unholy union of Morrissey and Ice Cube - Every Day is Like Friday. He ain’t got no job, heaven knows he’s miserable now, and he’s gonna get high today. And high would be a huge step up for the tragically overcaffeinated DeAngelo Hall, who will miss the first half (?!) of this game after single-handedly losing last week’s game. Is it just me, or was Bobby Petrino frightened when Hall accosted him on the sideline last week? If you show up like a little bitch in front of your team, do they keep listening to you? Erm, hey Van, can I use the word “bitch” on our blog? Like, if I have a good reason? Man, I hope so, because I am going to need it for Brian Griese here in a minute. Anyway, Atlanta is a mess and will continue to lose games to better teams until we find a team that isn’t.
Van: (too busy laughing to post a comment) Hey, last I read, the Pope declared that all Protestant blogs aren’t real blogs…it’s what I heard, anyway, so write what you want, dude…
The Jets at Buffalo
Bill’s Pick: The Jets
I have a question. Who on their deeply questionable roster are the Bills paying so much that they are only carrying two quarterbacks? If your starting quarterback is J. P. Losman (no need to commit hara-kiri here, this is only hypothetical, unless you are a Bills fan, in which case go ahead), why do you not see the need for a more thorough contingency plan than rookie Trent Edwards? As long as Losman is shuffling around, wondering what routes his receivers are running, overthrowing guys over the middle and bouncing passes to his checkdown guys, the Bills will continue to lose…but God forbid he gets hurt.
Van: The scary thing is that we know nothing about Trent Edwards, other than his poll-attractive name if he were a candidate. Who knows? This guy might be Dan Marino…or Rex Grossman…such is the crapshoot that is drafting a quarterback.
Baltimore at Cleveland
Bill’s Pick: Baltimore
Ohio is the panacea, the snake oil of the NFL. If you want to regrow hair, fix your blocking scheme, or heal a pulled groin, just go play the Browns or the Bengals. Steve McNair gets to be 26 again, Willis McGahee gets to play at the U one more time, but since the Ravens, with very few exceptions, are not the Bengals, the Browns get no such benefit.
Van: All Derek Anderson did was give Brady Quinn one more week of prep before the Bye…
St. Louis at Dallas
Bill’s Pick: Dallas
Tony Romo is a Jedi. I have no idea what that means, exactly, but my boy Dog says so, and so it must be true. Romo could be an Ewok and the ‘Boys would roll unchecked over the hapless Rams. See, the Rams used to be terrible, but then they lost Steven Jackson. Now they are something worse than terrible and traveling to play what is probably the NFL’s second-best team right now. Dallas is favored by 13, which theoretically means that half of the betting public would take the Rams and the points. I do not know precisely what this means for the next presidential election, but I am moving to New Zealand.
Van: If Tony Romo is a Jedi, then he’s Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan single-handedly beat the butts of Darth Maul, General Grievous, and Darth Vader (pre-suit!!)…in fact, in the last one, Obi-Wan is the whole reason Vader even needs the suit. For all that talk about the Skywalker family, Obi-Wan was the baddest of the Jedi.
Chicago at Detroit
Bill’s Pick: Chicago
Now that the Rex Grossman era is over, Bear fans should prepare themselves for their next great Inconvenient Truth: Brian Griese is not very good, either. He will look good for the next four weeks, and then you will find out why he has been cut by three different NFL teams, and why nobody has signed him to compete for a starting job since he got run out of Denver in favor of, seriously, Jake Plummer. Griese is a smart guy, but he has no arm and no balls. OK, I didn’t use “bitch,” but I did use “balls.” Remind me we need to set ground rules for these things, because I may want to use these words again sometime. Right now, da Bears are the team Searching for Trent Dilfer, and they think they have found him, but all they have really managed to do is upgrade from Grossman. Well, that’s something, anyway. This week, the upgrade is enough against a Detroit defense that could not keep Britney Spears out of Princeton.
Van: While I’d agree about Brit-Brit and Princeton, that wounded Bears defense isn’t going to do more than frisk Mo-Town receivers on their way to the end zone…my beloved Bears are awful.
Oakland at Miami
Bill’s Pick: Miami
Miami is at home. Last week I invented some rationale for choosing KC over Minnesota because it did not seem like enough to say that KC would win the battle of the offensive fleas because they were at home. See, everything would have been fine and I would have done it again for this game, but Van had to go and call me out last time, so there’s your analysis. Miami is at home.
Van: Uh, I said the same thing…dang it…
Green Bay at Minnesota
Bill’s Pick: Green Bay
I have a bad feeling about this game, and I wanted to pick the Vikings, but they match up so incredibly poorly against the Packers that I cannot justify it. The Vikings have an incredible run defense – no problem. The Packers cannot run the ball and are not inclined to even try. The Packers have an elite defense. The Vikings have…Adrian Peterson. The Packers could put ten guys in the box and Travairious Jackson would never unravel it. I feel like Minnesota can win this game, but I cannot figure out how.
Van: Minnesota only wins this game if they are playing in one of those Legends Leagues, where the old Purple People Eaters are on defense and Ahmad Rashad hadn’t resigned himself to burying his nose in Michael Jordan’s buttcrack.
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Bill’s Pick: Carolina
Picking this game is like choosing whether or not to accept a free vacation without knowing the destination or your fellow travelers. Maybe you are going to Vermont with your wife to see the fall colors. That’s nice. That’s Jake Delhomme. But maybe you are going to Amarillo with your in-laws for a tour of fast food restaurants. That’s David Carr. Now, I think it is pretty unlikely that Carr starts this game, but I am tempted to turn down the free vacation on the grounds that there is a chance. Both the Bucs and Panthers seem to be growing into their teams as the season goes on, and this is clearly round one of a two round bout to decide the NFC South (for those of us who have come to the painful recognition after three weeks that New Orleans would be hard-pressed to win a game, much less this division). Assuming Delhomme plays, the Panthers win, well, because they are at home.
Van: Tampa Bay’s best receiver is still Joey Galloway. Joey Friggin’ Galloway. Hell, I thought the guy was in WitSec for testifying against Rae Carruth…
Seattle at San Francisco
Bill’s Pick: San Francisco
These are both cities with great culture, wonderful seafood and peculiar weather. They both have superior independent record stores and storied local music scenes. Real estate is absurdly expensive in both places. You have to give the nod to San Francisco for being the superior walking city. And I do not like the Seahawks.
Van: This is why you lose to me every week. Not liking the Seahawks should have nothing to do with picking them when they are the better team. And they are the better team. You might want to note any sideline cameras on Mike Holmgren when he laughs at Darrell Jackson riverdancing through a route.
Pittsburgh at Arizona
Bill’s Pick: Arizona
Far from the friendly rust belt, three time zones away in the oppressive September heat, the Steelers walk in where everybody knows their names. All their names. And tendencies. Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm, purported in-house frontrunners for the Pittsburgh head job that went to Mike Tomlin, now prowl the sidelines for the Cardinals. The Cards have the knowledge and they have the heart. After storming back against the Ravens last week, Arizona gets it, and you can bet that Matt Leinart is on a shorter leash this week after Kurt Warner’s performance last week. Whisenhunt and Grimm can downplay this all they want, but you can bet they have been game-planning the Steelers since June.
Van: They can gameplan like The Belicheat, complete with the Wachowski Brothers filming in I-Max, and it won’t matter at all. They can gameplan like Wile E. Coyote and they still get run over by the train. God’s favorite QB might be Jon Kitna, but it sez so in Leviticus that He hates the Cardinals.
Denver at Indianapolis
Bill’s Pick: Indianapolis
This should be interesting. Nobody has even tried to throw on the Broncos this season. The Bills, Raiders and Jags totaled 58 pass attempts in three games. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that changes this week. Last year, after nibbling for a half, the Colts blew up at Invesco field, exposing a Bronco defense that had been the league’s stingiest. After brutal first-round playoff beatings in 2003 and 2004, the Donkeys re-tooled their entire defense just for the Colts. A perusal of the Broncos’ injury report turns up about half of their secondary. Champ Bailey is healthy, but as the Colts proved last year, it is not that hard to throw to the other side of the field.
Van: Mark it on your calendar – both Bill and I have picked against our teams. Then again, one of us is down five games to the other, and the other is trying to grow that lead. Loyalties fall by the wayside when victory is at stake.
Kansas City at San Diego
Bill’s Pick: San Diego
After a brutal early season tour of the NFL’s best teams, San Diego’s bye week comes early. Green Bay, New England and Chicago have provided three entirely separate blueprints for beating the Bolts (disregarding for the moment that the Bears gacked it up in the final twelve minutes), but the Chefs do not have the personnel to avail themselves of any of these plans. Good thing, too, because if KC had any plan at all and the wherewithal to execute it, Norv Turner would never adjust. A couple of weeks ago, one of the networks showed a bunch of pictures of Norv and his little brother (Chicago offensive coordinator Ron) growing up. Bears and Chargers fans should all be concerned (this means you, Van) because in all of the pictures, from birth to freshman basketball to weddings, they both look completely vacant. It’s weird. I guess I have to say about this game what a lot of people (this means you, Van) said about this season: even Norv can’t screw this up.
Van: What, me worry? I’ve got a QB in Chicago that’s one beer from a relapse and a running back in Chicago that makes me yearn for those halcyon days with Curtis Enis in the backfield…and while San Diego can indeed screw it up, KC can screw it up a lot worse.
Philadelphia at the Giants
Bill’s Pick: Philadelphia
Apparently, I was a week ahead of the curve complaining about throwback uniforms. See, Van, you clowned me and now I am vindicated. Now sports. Even after they finally showed up for a game, I cannot rid my head of the vision of the G-men uniting to quit against the Packers. I thought Donovan and the Iggles were better than they were showing, that they had a competent offense camouflaged by their inability to break 20 points. So on the one hand, they hung 56 points in week three, and on the other it was against the Lions. Without knowing which of the four teams playing this game might show up, you have to return to square one, which is simply that Philly has the superior team. If they both play to their highest capabilities, the Eagles win this by two touchdowns.
Van: Given a choice here, I’d almost rather hit my thumb with a hammer. Twice. And make that a sledgehammer. And let John Henry his own self swing it. If you are the demented sort that reads both Bill’s picks and mine, you’ll note that my metaphor for this game was haggis versus lutefisk. John Henry, swing away…
New England at Cincinnati
Bill’s Pick: New England
I think that Cincinnati can score on New England’s defense and that Carson Palmer can continue to put up absurd numbers, but I also think it will be completely out of necessity. The Bengals defense is just a suggestion. If the Ravens’ defense is a law, the Bengals’ D is a helpful hint. Palmer and Johnson and Houshmanzadeh will get their numbers, but it will be because they are constantly 21 points down.
Van: The Bungle’s defense isn’t even a suggestion as much as it’s a lewd comment to a minor. A first class berth aboard a cruise ship might mistreat guests more than Cincinnati’s defense, but not by much. The Natty’s defense is softer than Cedric Benson, and HE’S softer than the judges on America’s Next Top Model. I mean, this is the joke that keeps on giving, kinda like Kofi Annan’s Scams For (His) Kids…okay, I’m done. So’s Bill, by the way…heh heh heh…
Labels: beatdowns in general, Bill Bryan, NFL, TheAntiM
posted by van walker | 9:50 AM
1 Comments:
Holy Cats, this week has done a number on my sports credibility. Unless Ben Watson and Housh can score a combined 60 points, I'm floundering fantasy-wise to a team named after a frilly fish.
I also managed to pick 6 games (so far)in one pick 'em and 5 in the other. By the way? I picked the Broncos in the down league. I think the CU fumes got to me and I went a little crazy.
So I'm not going to say much about the picks. Or sports. Or balls. Heh. No matter how much I want to.
Instead, I shall pontificate on something I know something about: criminality and geeks.
First, there will be no sedating of the sister for any purpose without her express written request. That said, I'm glad to see the wayward brother may be smarter than he looks, given that he realises he doesn't want to try to explain flinging a comatose sister to the local authoritays.
Mike Vick should be so lucky.
Second, Oh. My. God. What is with you two and the George Lucas slurp-fest? In the next logical step, y'all start arguing about the +12 Secondary of Death and how many experience points you get for beating Chris Berman to "Michael ConVick."
Go Rockies.
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