Quick Slants - Nobody Knows Nothin'

Duuuuude...

When did the NFL Playoffs become the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament?

Right now, holes are being dug in the desert as a direct result of Sunday’s events, and I can barely be heard for the sound of Cadillacs laying rubber as they leave Atlantic City and Vegas in something of a hurry.

If there is one thing that is disappointing about both upsets, its that we could probably see them coming if we were honest.

Yes, the Chargers and the Giants have their flaws, most notably at QB, where, oddly enough, these guys were essentially traded for each other. Funny ol’ world, ain’t it, when the guy who should be ‘backing the Bolts is backing the Gints and vice versa...

Still, it ain’t like we haven’t seen this from either the Colts or the Cowboys before.

Before last season, Peyton Manning was going out like a hyper version of Dan Marino, all records and no rings.

The Cowboys? Ofer the franchise in Super wins since Jimmy Johnson’s players got old and retired to the Hall of Fame. For perspective’s sake, most of us don’t own cars that were brand new when the ‘Boys last hoisted the Lombardi Trophy.

All that said, the whole reason that the NFL re-seeds for the playoffs is to make sure that the best teams have the best chances to get through to the Super Bowl. First round byes, up until this season, have been damn near guarantees that the home team would play in their conference championship game.

Quoth Bill Murray, “And then...depression set in.”

Someone, anyone, please tell me how the Chargers beat the Colts. I know the score. I know who did what. I know who got hurt. It still just doesn’t add up.

In the name of all that’s holy, isn’t Norv Turner coaching the Chargers? Since when did he grow a brain?

And speaking of growing things, something must have dropped for Philip Rivers because his voice got deep all of a sudden and he’s getting hair in funny places, based on the game he turned in.

If Tony Dungy is so consumed with retirement talk that he can’t be bothered to defend his Super Bowl title, then he needs to be retired, period. There is absolutely no excuse for getting outcoached by a playoff tyro in Turner. None.
As far as the Cowboys go, it is official: Yoko Romo is going to get blamed waaaay more for this loss than she should.

Last I checked, she wasn’t the one in charge of keeping the Giant pass rush in check.

See, if someone figures out a way to keep Tony Romo from running for his life in the second half, he can probably make some better choices with the football.

Then, too, someone should probably get Patrick Crayton some stick’um...so that he can lock his lips shut and catch the damn football.

Good on the Chargers. Good on the Giants. Good on both Philip Rivers and Eli Manning, quarterbacks who have been maligned this season, and deservedly so. They have not played to the level of the QBs remaining in this tournament, guys like Brett Favre or (genuflect) Tom Brady. But they clearly brought their “A” games this weekend, when their teams needed them the most.

Good on Norv Turner. If I gave him the blame for the Chargers underachieving earlier in this season, then fairness demands that I give him the credit for righting the ship and actually improving on last season’s finish, something that I never thought would be possible.

Good on Tom Coughlin. This guy must know something about football, because it looked like his team was going to make him walk the plank earlier this season, and now they would open a vein for him.

At this point, nothing is automatic, except the outcome of the Patriots-Chargers game next weekend. If Rivers and LT are both hurting next week...fuggeddaboudit.

Can the Giants go to Green Bay and continue their road warrior ways all the way to the Super Bowl? Don’t ask me; I’ve only picked them to lose twice, and both times they’ve made me look like an idiot. Eli Manning has yet to have an Eli Manning game...but I reserve the right to remain skeptical. After all, I’ve seen this before from him. What I want is consistency. If he were (here we go) his brother, I’d love the Giants’ chances in Green Bay. So far, he has upheld the family name with honor. Can he keep it up?

I don’t know, but now it looks like this year’s Super Bowl is going to have a story line after all: sentimental favorite Brett Favre, versus the blue meanie Patriots.

And wouldn’t it be fitting for the Patriots to cap off the most dominant season in NFL history, only to be reviled for doing it to Brett By-God Favre?

More later...